Comfortable in My Own Skin

You might think because I’m a slim woman that I didn’t have to worry much about my appearance. But back in high school I was called anorexic and had school staff and classmates ask how much I eat and that I should eat more. “Your damn if your skinny and damn if your curvy”. Throughout my years all this negativity has made me question the size of my arms. My weight. And for the most part proving to others that my weight is normal. Today I am learning to be true to myself. I know that I am good to my body. I am the way i am because of my genetics. I take care of my body and the one and only thing I should care about is my well being minimize the output that STRANGERS try to instill in my head. 

Thank you for sharing your journey and helping me look in the mirror  

Repost @gofitjo 

I LOVE MY BODY BECAUSE ✨because it’s the only one I’ve got.

I LOVE MY BODY BECAUSE ✨ it’s complex.

I LOVE MY BODY BECAUSE ✨ it instantly gives me feedback when I’m doing something right and when I’m doing something wrong.

I LOVE MY BODY BECAUSE ✨ if I don’t, no one else will.

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Today is the day that you can sit down with yourself and decide to start loving your body. You don’t need society or anyone else’s permission to do that. You don’t even need permission from yourself. You have the power to set in motion a series of beautifully complicated miracles just by saying #ilovemybodybecause

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@lafemmeforteproject by @tonhyakae

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Being Single Never Felt so Good

Being Single Never Felt so Good

“Focus on loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.”

IMG_1670You know what's beautiful? This moment right here. This moment of listening to your body. This moment of releasing negativity and welcoming positivity. To really take the time to soak in this moment is something that I never took time to do before. I was more focused on finding a partner. And when that didn't work. I would spend my time crying and thinking that there must be something wrong with me. If I wasn't thinking that. I was thinking why do I always end up dating guys who have no intention of wanting a relationship. . .

Continue reading “Being Single Never Felt so Good”

Self- Love: Emotions

Self- Love: Emotions

Emotions are like GPS

Very often do we ignore our emotions. some of us think that were better off ignoring the feelings that come from within. That we are much stronger without soaking into them and letting them take over. But if an emotion is nagging your mind.Most likely, it means that you should acknowledge it and take time to understand each aspect of it. It will teach you something.

At a young age i was unknowingly taught to hide my emotions. I don’t think its a cultural thing. I believe every person no matter your culture or race goes through this cover up. I don’t blame my parents for raising me this way. It wasn’t their intention. It all goes back to how they were raised. I think Jason Mraz put it perfectly in one of his songs when he says:

“Don’t dress up your children like dolls from your past
Or They’ll run from you madly, they’ll never look back
And when they grow older, they’ll do just the same
The world’s a reflection of how children play”

Unintentionally, parents teach/raise their kids the way they were raised. And I think that one way of changing the unhealthy mental cycle. We have to go deep into our emotions and tell ourselves that it’s okay to show emotions. It’s okay to be more or less sensitive with others. It’s okay to speak up and express how you feel and think.

We have to take time out of life to sit down, feel and understand our present emotions. Keep going until you feel good about yourself. Are you feeling more bad than good? That’s great too. negative emotions are good too. Without it, we wouldn’t feel the gratification of feeling positive. There’s knowledge to be found in the good and bad emotions. Embrace it! The most important thing here is learning how to acknowledge any emotions with L-O-V-E!

I have my days when I tend to ignore my emotions and days when I take time to feel them. The times I’ve done that. I noticed that I am getting to know a new things about myself. It is pretty freaky. But in a good way. It’s like meeting a new person within me. I’m learning that i am actually an outspoken woman trying to break out of this introvert glass. The more clearer I get with what is causing certain emotions in my life and understanding that only through a state of love can i address whatever obstacles are ahead and not stay stuck in any emotional state.

<3,

abrealove

The Feeling of Being Replaced

The Feeling of Being Replaced

The worst feeling through all of this, is the feeling of being replaced. Five months ago I was dumped. I feel like crawling into a ball as I type this down to share with you. I can easily just keep it inside and wait for it to go away. But for me it’s always been easier to let go of the pain by expressing it either through writing or photography. I been going back and forth contemplating if I should share this on my blog. Thinking ” what if he reads this and disagrees?’ “What if I am saying things that weren’t actually happening, what if my gut feeling wasn’t actually right?” What fucking if!?

Well now. five months later I say, fuck the ‘What If’s’ This is how I felt and your gut feeling was pinching every inch of your body trying to alert you and have you listen to what was really going on. You were right at feeling and thinking the way you did. Even if you questioned him. Do you really think he’d admit to it? The chance of that happening is slim. And i’m not saying that he was a bad person. He is charming but something changed at the end.  When he spoke about her one night.

I didn’t think anything of it until one month later I find out they’re a couple. I immediately feel like what we had meant nothing to him. I feel like I meant nothing to him. I wonder how he can start a brand new bond with someone so quickly, while i’m here left to pick up the pieces. Then the resentment towards her new girlfriend takes over. I start to blame her for letting it happen even though I know it was really him I should be hurt by. You hope that they come back, so you can either take them back and start new or so you could get satisfaction in telling them off. You begin to do and think all the wrong things.

Five months later, I realize he wasn’t the perfect one for me because his love was not strong enough to hold my hand. It took just one person to break the strong bond I thought we shared and I guess that says a lot. The best feeling is when you can honestly say you were the best thing your ex ever had and it is a shame they let you go. I’m no longer angered. I am starting to recognize that I can give my love to someone more deserving. Despite what that person did to me, they did teach me something. I am getting to the point where I have come to terms that this is for the best.

“There’s no need to be angry, it’s okay to be sad
I just have to trust there’s something better for me out there
Swirling around in the universe
Someone who will believe in themselves as much as I do
And never take a wish for granted and always count the stars
you can’t start a fire in the pouring rain” – Tristan Prettyman

The things I learned
1.  I learned that I can be as happy on my own as I am in a relationship, if not more so.
2. I learned that I could be a good listener. Experiencing this type of breakup led me to help others with relationship issues.
3. I learned that I can’t sit around and be upset and bitter. It is not worth it and only sets back my progress to finding a new and exciting relationship.
4.  it is not the end of the world

Stay close to your friends and family. Do not bottle things up. Talk about what bothers you to them because that’s what they are for.  Even if you deserve some explanations from your ex, don’t expect to get it.  You deserve the best and let someone special give that to you. It makes healing a lot easier if you forgive them.

It takes a relationship gone sour to make you appreciate and understand an amazing one.

I’d like to hear from your experiences. comment below

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Self Love: Body

Your body is always with you. Right here, right now. It can often be one of the hardest things to love.  There’s not escaping the body you’re in. So we are left with one option:

ACCEPT & GROW

Take into consideration what your body does for you. Digests food, stores memories. You don’t have to put effort into beating your heart.

Exercise 1:

List all things you love about your body. Consider less obvious things. Try to go into depth.

Exercise 2: Make a list of things that you love that your body is becoming. Is it getting stronger? Flexible? Better posture?  On each body potential. note one thing you can do to take action on making this more and more actualized everyday.

“Self-love is the source of all our other loves”

-Pierre Corneille