Abril Esparza- zerofivetwentysixteen&beyond

You are not alone. You are one brave human being. You and I will get through this. Just because society teaches civilians to treat mental illness as a taboo, doesn’t mean we can’t change that. Mental illness is the same as any other illness that is out there. I am here as a 26 year old to share my Social Anxiety and Depression. What i been through and what i am still struggling with. . .

zero five-zero eight: self medicated with alcohol and abused pain killers to deal with anxiety. Caused me to have mood swings and snap every now and then.

zero nine: My first nephew was born in late January. Being there in the delivery room witnessing his birth, gave me a wake up call. How can i give 100% of my love to this gift from god if i cannot love my body, mind and soul 100%. I had enough. tired of feeling broken. tired of feeling low all the time. Decided to get help.

I scheduled an appointment with my doctor. I was prescribed antidepressants.

zero ten: completed my first half marathon. I felt alive. antidepressants made me feel alive!! But will i be relying on this for the rest of my life? What if i got addicted to antidepressants? I stopped using them and decided to heal on my own.

zero thirteen: Opened a Youtube Account and started filming makeup and food videos. My way of coping with SA and depression.

zero fifteen: Ended the year having an episode.  I stumbled upon a youtuber sharing her experience with anxiety and depression. She expressed how us dealing with this mental illness shouldn’t feel alone. Shouldn’t feel as if they’re being judged or looked down on because of this.

zero sixteen: I am sharing my story. I am doing it for myself. This is my way of coping and my process of healing. But most of all, I am doing it for those who feel alone in this. I am doing it to help you who feels that there is no reason for living. For those who are asking themselves the same questions i have asked myself, why am i here? there is no reason to go on another day. Who would care?

A person like myself cares because i know how it feels to be at the lowest point. crying myself to sleep. waking up forcing myself out of bed. FORCING myself to go on.  I know my story could help others who are going through the same. Not only am i still fighting this illness to be in the lives of my nephews, but i am doing it for those who need help and are fighting to get better.

“Son sometimes it may seem dark, but the absence of the light is a necessary part.
Just know, you’re never alone . . .” Jason Mraz, 93 million miles


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s